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I have been watching more of watching M15 series, loving the art director's palate because it complements the greys and taupes of London so well with the black iron railings. There's nice accent shades of pale blue greens which look good in that city, also a bit of light muted coral which works well--and what a good-looking cast.
Peter made a lovely lamb stew for supper. I baked chocolate chip cookies with hemp hearts--a modification of David Lebowitz's Chocolate chip cookie recipe which is my current favorite. These can go in the lunch box because they don't contain nuts.
I've been breaking tasks down into seasonal components and winter is a time for sorting and labeling seeds, garden research and goal setting. I've decided I want the garden closest to the house to be strawberries, culinary herbs, edible flower and tea garden. I am also going to grow a few climbing beans at the very back because they grow so well there. It's time to pull up my strawberry garden because the plants are getting old. I'll put bush beans and clover in there to remediate the soil.
I've got to do more research on shade plants for other areas of the garden. In the raised bed I'm going to put lemon cukes on a trellis, and grow salad greens, zucchini, marigolds, beets, squash, sunflowers and arugula. I'm going to plant holly hocks on the west side near the fence and to be try something absolutely different I'm going to order a mix of seeds for "black" flowers. I think they will be a nice contract next to the brightly colored fleurs. I won't plant them all in one spot, just a little bit of a gothic touch here and there. It will be interesting to see if the bees like them.
I
One day the phone rang in the kitchen with the avocado oven and it was the dead boy. He wanted to know if I had the schedule for the local movie theatre. I was not used to talking to boys on the phone, especially not dead boys with soft blonde hair the colour of ripe wheat. I didn't know what to say. I think I snickered inappropriately. It was all wrong. I wish he'd phone again now so I could tell him how much his mother grieved for him. I wish we could have skated on the ice together at twilight, making snow angels by the side of the rink with a sky for a ceiling and marveled at those pin prick stars, the way stars used to be before I had to wear glasses and they never looked the same again. I wish I could share with him my sadness about the way the stars have changed. Maybe then I wouldn't have been driven mad by the need to tell someone about those sorts of things. But his death wasn't about me and my isolation sickness, it was about him and how we lost him on a flat prairie gravel road.
II
I had a poster of John Travolta in my bedroom. He was wearing an intensely blue shirt which brought out the blue of his eyes. I wasn't even a big Travolta fan, but the colours in the poster cheered me up. I also had a life-sized poster of Shaun Cassidy on my bedroom door, but it wasn't really life-sized because I could reach his lips no problem, which was fine by me. I also had a picture of a kitten that said, "Hang in There!" and a poster of a rainbow with a quote from Tennyson's Ulysses:
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world,
whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
I still love that quote. Shaun Cassidy? Not so much.
And I'm still hanging in there.
Last night I suddenly dreamed
of the clock face on our avocado stove
when we lived in the trailer after our house burnt down.
And I used to set the timer on the clock on the oven
for a half an hour to practise the piano, but I put it off and daydreamed instead,
I could never play the piano anyway,
but I could sing, which was a blessing.
Some nights I turned off the timer on the clock on the avocado oven and I took my skates out to the open air rink and I'd skate by myself under a twilight prairie sky.
I could never skate very well, but good enough to get a taste of what freedom meant,
and flying.
Shift: to move objects, dried leaves, grass clippings.
Shift: To see things from a new perspective, to switch viewing positions.
Shift: To have some emotional or spiritual change happen inside oneself.
Shift: My word for 2011 to be carried about as a talisman in order to see or create change in the world.