It's a blue sky day in July. It was almost eight years ago that Uskula was born. What a frightening time that was. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and then everything went so fast, I can only remember bits and pieces. The nurse in emerge who was more pregnant than I was who gave me her cell phone to call Peter. The six specialists hovering around me murmuring anxiously. The anesthetist who knew we had to operate or I would die. A tiny guy handed to me with my father's eyes. Pure love. Pure fear.
I remember thinking that once I'd given birth nothing would frighten me again. Nothing could be as difficult or traumatic as a child that was
from my womb untimely ripped. I was wrong. I still get frightened. Little things like not being taken seriously. Running out of energy. Losing objects. We won't even talk about the big things.
It's time to remind myself to take more risks. Take six risks before breakfast. I'm an artist and that's a big part of my job. Deep breath. Courage. What risks have you taken today?
It's a blue sky day in July. It was almost eight years ago that Uskula was born. What a frightening time that was. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and then everything went so fast, I can only remember bits and pieces. The nurse in emerge who was more pregnant than I was who gave me her cell phone to call Peter. The six specialists hovering around me murmuring anxiously. The anesthetist who knew we had to operate or I would die. A tiny guy handed to me with my father's eyes. Pure love. Pure fear.
I remember thinking that once I'd given birth nothing would frighten me again. Nothing could be as difficult or traumatic as a child that was from my womb untimely ripped. I was wrong. I still get frightened. Little things like not being taken seriously. Running out of energy. Losing objects. We won't even talk about the big things.
It's time to remind myself to take more risks. Take six risks before breakfast. I'm an artist and that's a big part of my job. Deep breath. Courage. What risks have you taken today?
1 comment:
Risks taken before lunch:
I weighed myself.
I folded laundry.
I printed out and read everything I wrote during my month on Gambier Island.
ouch. aurgh. hmmm. grrr. wince. ahhh.
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