Portrait of a Picky Eater

This plate used to contain a cinnamon bun.

(Switch to photo of a plate of peas.)

This plate used to contain a vegetable samosa.

(Switch to another photo of a plate of peas.)

This plate used to contain a chicken pot pie.

My son is a picky eater and I just can't relate. I have always eaten pretty much anything put in front of me. I've been an adventurous eater from an early age--as adventurous as you can be growing up in a small town in Saskatchewan. As soon as I left home I sought out novelty and adventures in food. My partner loves all kinds of food too, and so we've always dragged our son to a variety of restaurants from an early age. He used to eat pretty much whatever he could get in his mouth, including the cutlery. And then it all went horribly wrong. When did it happen? When he learned to talk? After he projectile vomited in a Buddhist vegetarian restaurant? I can't even remember, but all of a sudden he didn't want his foods mixed up together. No sauce. No cheese. No greens except broccoli and peas raw and fresh from the garden. The only time I've ever eaten like that is when I had pregnancy sickness. Hmmmm . . . contributing factor or conspiracy theory? And before you ask, he had both formula and breast milk, so let's not go there.

Then I find out my significant other has a dirty secret. He was a picky eater too. His father said he suspected his son of being a "super taster", or a person with an over-sensitivity to bitter foods. Maybe it runs in the family. I wonder if there is a test for it--along with a series of cookbooks about how to cater for your super taster without losing your mind. I don't know if my son is a super taster but he sure doesn't have an aversion to anything sweet.

My partner and I have learned to cook meals that please all three of us. There are days when I just say to myself, "Screw it. He's getting a hot dog tonight and I'm cooking what I really want." However, most of the time we've just adjusted to a very minimalist palette of food. It's healthy, but I do get tired of the "protein, vegetable, vegetable, fruit, starch" mantra. I seek inspiration. I shun those who proselytize and avoid those who brag of their child's prodigious palate. "He's the only child Charlie Trotter will allow in his kitchen," I actually overheard a proud mama say of her son in a Vancouver restaurant. Spare me. I have nothing against kids who love good food, and I admire those who can eat their tofu and oatmeal birthday cake [sic] with a photo-perfect smile. Just know that one day you too may have to feed a picky eater and then you'll know the humble truth that a mom's job is just to stuff your child's gob with something that is affordable, healthy, and not necessarily glamorous. We're lucky we have so many choices--it's just that once you have a child, they start to make some of those choices for you, whether you like it or not. This is one of the first things you will learn about parenting, and it often occurs around the personality of your child's eating preferences. I do admire my son's stubborn individuality, but I just wish he'd eat my lasagne!